


Hands to heal, hearts to mend

by forestwalker



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Blood Magic, Hands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-11 17:50:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestwalker/pseuds/forestwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Backgroundstory: Nathan Hawke, in secret a blood mage, is in love with Anders and he know Anders feels the same, but he rejects him. Nathan wears gloves to hide his scars, but are suffering of numbness and decreasing strenght in his hands. his love for Anders develops from all the time he spends in his clinic were Anders massages his hands.<br/>Need to write this story.</p><p>This short story tells of the events before they start there relationhip.   </p><p>This story contains sex, blood and gore. Don't like male x male? don't read!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hawke was crushed after losing his mother, he felt like as if he was a monster for chairing the same magic as the murderer. But most of all he felt lonely. Orana had tried to feed him, making wonderful food, but Hawke could not get himself to eat more than bread and water.

After some weeks, he slowly started to interact with the others again. Aveline came by and asked if he would like to join her on a night patrol, since he enjoyed the walk and the talk they shared. Varric convinced him to share some drinks with the others at the hanged man. Even Fenris joined them, even if he was awkwardly silent in the beginning, but after some glasses even he loosen up a bit. Isabella had placed herself on his lap and he did not seem to mind. Merrill was adorably drunk, mocked by Varric and defended by Aveline and Sebastian. They drank, laugh and played poker. Everyone except the winner got to drink and of course no one could beat Isabella. That pirate must secretly be a mage thought hawke when he emptied his seventh keg of beer. He noticed that Anders was silent and he refused to meet his eyes. Hawke was worried, the mage looked more hunted than ever. He swallowed the last scrapings and asked if the others needed a refill. Everyone agreed happily and loudly, except for Anders, and he left the table. The bartender poured up seven new kegs and Hawke paid him. Both Varric and Isabella was by his side and tog the most of the kegs, but Hawke saved two. He walked up behind Anders and put his right hand om arms his fellow mages shoulder and leaned forward. 

“Come on, loosen up a bit now.” Hawke smiled, trying to cheer up the mage. He felt the pain spreading through the limbs in his right hand where he hold his own keg.

“It's alright, I am just tired.” Anders still refust to meet his eyes. It hurt to see him so tired. The pain in his hand was replaced with numbness and the keg slipped. It hit the dirty floor and spilled out all the beer. Anders flew up from his chair. Everyone at the table stopped talking for a while.

“Are you alright?”

“Maybe I need to get some air before the next beer.” Hawke laugh nervous He could not believe that he screwed it up, he must have drank to much. His loss of handstrengt was now evident and it would soon be a problem to explain to the others. Everybody laugh at him and then started playing again. A swift hand found its way to one of his wrists.

“How is your hands?” Anders whispered. Hawke switched and took Anders wrist instead and lowered it. A light spark went through his body and even if he could not feel the mage's bare skin through the fabric, he knew that the warmth inside him was not entirely the fault off alcohol. 

“I m alright, I just had a little to much to drink.” excused Hawke himself. Anders gave him a stern look and Hawke felt somehow like he had done something wrong. Now it was his turn to not meet the other mages eyes. After an awkward moment Hawke excused himself to the others and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Anders found Hawke by the docks. He sat at the staircase leading down to the sea. Anders kept his distance. Hawke looked like a mess, supporting his head in his hands and mumbling for himself. He was ashamed, He knew Hawke mourned the loss of his whole family. 

“I know you are there.” Hawke mumbled into the ground. Anders smiled for himself and walked over and sat down beside Hawke. Hawke straighten himself up and looked out to the sea.

“How did you know I was here?”

“When was the last time you took a bath?” Hawke smiled with teary eyes and Anders felt like all his blood fled to his face . 

“Honestly? I don´t know.”

“Well it's not that bad.” Said Hawke and leaned against the fellow mage's shoulder. Anders put his arm around him. Hawke went silent.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to provoke you or anything. It's just... I care about you.”

“I know. I am a mess right now. Not so sure if the alcohol was a good idea.” 

The soft feathers gently stroke against his face. It was wonderful to sit there, starring into nothingness. Right now he did not have to hide himself.

“I miss her.” mumbled Hawke.

“I know you do.” Hawke moved himself closer to the other mage. He did not want to show his tears so he buried his face into the feathers. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

When Hawke woke up the followinge morning he swort, like so many times before, to never drink again. Despite the hangover, this was the first morning since he returned from the Deep Road that he felt rested. A fragile sensation of soft feathers reminded him about the night before and a warm feeling spread through his body. He was a little bit ashamed of how fast he became hard. So close. He had been so close to him yesterday. He gently stroke himself. The smell, he had lied about the smell. Anders smelled fantastic, like dirt mixed with leather and with a hint of electricity. Pleasure. He longed to be with him, but every time he tried to show his feelings, Anders rejected him. Heavy breaths. That faint smile that sometime sneaked in, when they talked. A taste of salty sweat. His deep brown eyes, his wonderful delicate fingers. A wave of pleasure rose through his body and he bite his lip to not make a sound. It was calming, but lonely. He was left breathless, maybe a little less tense, but sadly not happy.

 

Anders had admitted that he liked him, but he hid behind his cause and Justice. He warned Hawke of not tempting him, that he was to dangerous. It hurt that Anders thought that he was only “tempting” him, like he was not worth loving. He was not sure if he should keep on pushing, he did not want to force Anders into a relationship. He sat up and looked around the room and found the towel he used the day before. On shaky legs Hawke slither over the floor and cleaned himself up. Remember to clean it before using it again. Back in the bed, the aftermath and the hangover made him dizzy so he closed his eyes. Dreams of soft feathers gently stroking his face haunted his mind and he buried his face in the pillow.

 

Later that evening Hawke went through all the letters he had got since he came home. _When you suddenly became rich, people tend to think they had the right to want tings from you._ It was amusing to read how people that spit on him when he was poor, pleaded for some spare change. Varric came around and Hawke was jealous of how well he looked.

“Well you look like a goner. Need a drink to wake up?” Varric snorted.

“Maybe later. I want to digest my food before throwing it up.”

“I must amp up your drinking in my stories.”

“No but seriously I promised Aveline to help her out tonight.”

They sat down in the dinning room and Hawke fetched them some glasses and some whisky. They small talked about the night before. Varric told him that Isabella had not spent the night at the hanged man, so she probably went home with Fenris. Aveline walked Merrill home closely after they left. Maybe he would tell Isabella to stop by and check up on her.

“So what's up with you and Blondie? Seems pretty tense.”

“Well, it's nothing, just some dissension.”

“Only that? Come on, don't you think I can see how you look at each others? What is holding you back? I understand if you hesitate because of the sprirt-thing, he is scary.” Hawke blushed, but capitulated directly. He knew that he could not lie to his best friend. He trusted Varric with anything, so he told him about the night before. He felt so stupid, but it was a nice change to talk about his problems.

“I hope you don't use this in any of your stories.”

“No of cause not.” snorted Varric and swept the whisky. “I will just say that you slept with everyone.”


	4. Chapter 4

The dark ally was not optimal for fighting and the Carta knew it. Hawke was not sure why they were attacked, but he had stopped wondering a long time ago. It seemed like everyone was out for a fight at night. Aveline was amazing in battle. If he was not fighting for his life, he would have stopped to watch her. His distance to Aveline became far longer then he preferred, as he was huddle into the ally. He regretted not inviting anybody else to the patrol, they were usually three or four. He quickly run out of mana, trying to freeze and shield himself. After a while he had no choice but to tear of his gloves and let the blood flow. He drew blood from the corpses around him, mixing it with his own and screamed while tearing trough the dwarfs. When his ice shields was gone he felt the pain of something borrowing itself into his lower abdomen, but he continued. _If I stop they will lynch me, but this fight is taking to long._ One of his attacks missed and he started to feel lightheaded. His right hand sought its way down to the arrow and his legs started to feel shaky. He swung around and attacked again, missing with over an meter. The screams of the fight became distant and it was over when another arrow sunk into his shoulder. he ground rushed up to meet him. He screamed when the arrow in the abdomen aggressively turned under his weight. 

She helped him up. It took a while, but she heave his arm around her shoulders and supported him. Hawkes usually chocolate brown skin, had a shade of dark ash and his golden eyes were foggy and it worried her. He was drenched in blood and breathed heavy, but he was conscious. They stumble away from all the corpses. It was not far from the clinic and she hoped that Anders was there. She knew he was involved in some underground business that she deliberately ignored.

“Anders is going to kill me.” She mumbled.

“No he wont, he will kill me.” Hawke whispered. 

“Last time I remembered you shielding the party against a sea off arrows.”

“Yeah, I must be a little rusty.” She could see a faint smile curl his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Aveline had stumbled in to the clinic with Hawke hanging from her side, waking Anders up. He had fallen asleep at the desk in the private room in back of the clinic. His chest went cold when he met up with Aveline and Hawke. A trail of blood drops followed them and Hawke was pale and drenched in red.  
“We need to put him in the back.” Anders pushed everything off the bed. Manifesto-pages, maps recipes and other things flew up in the air. Avelines sat Hawke down, who protested when the muscles around the arrow tighten and twisted. He fell clumsy over to his side, since he could not lay on his back. He was cold sweating and breathing heavy. 

“What happened?” Anders used a knife to tear up Hawkes clothing to examine the wounds.

“Nightwatch, amushed by the carta. I explane more later. Need to fix the trail.” Anders was not really listening, he sized the two arrows. It would be complicated. The arrow in the shoulder should be relatively easy to push through without hurting any vital organs, but he needed Hawke to sit up for doing so and since he could not do that on his own, he needed Avelines help. Hawke squirmed when he touched the arrows. His eyes starred into the distant. So many thoughts run through Anders head but the loudest was Justice that told him it was to late. He tried to lock him out and sterilized a small knife over a flame he ignited in his right hand. He went up and got some cleaned cloths and pure alcohol and sat down beside Hawke. 

“Hawke?” No response. Anders took his hand. _Was it to late?_

“Nathan?” His eyes flickered around and found him, a faint smile appeared. Anders smiled back, at easy that he was still alive.

“This is going to hurt, so I need you to bite into this cloth so you don't bite your tongue. If you understand, please press my hand.” Anders felt a faint press and placed the cloth in his mouth. He went and got some blankets, putting the most off them as support and leaned Hawke so he laid more on his back without putting to much pressure on the arrow. He heard how Hawke inhaled and exhaled heavily. He cleaned up the wound at the abdomen and stopped. His hands trembled and he swept away tears. Breath, just breath. Hawke needs you. He needs you to save him. He took a deep breath and started to open up the wound. It took longer than he would have liked, and he needed to stop everytime Hawke squirmed until he finally fainted. Anders felt horrible but continue to free the arrow. He nervously checked that Hawke was breathing and that his heart rate was alright. He tried to keep the blood loss to a minimum. At lest, the arrow head was free and he poured richly with alcohol into the wound before stitching it together with his magic. Aveline had returned and Anders took a break to get some water before attending to the other arrow. He removed the clouth from Hawkes mouth. He felt pity and sorrow to seen Hawke in this state. He held him tight, letting a hand go through the wet hair and support his head againt his chest. He nodded to Aveline and she pushed the arrow right trough and up above the collar bone. They stopped when it broke the skin and Aveline switched place with Anders to pull it out. He healed the wound and they laid Hawke down, careful to not rip up any of the wounds. 

“Thank you Aveline, I can take it from here.”

“Good, I need to fill in a report about the attack. I will come by tomorrow.”

 

Anders stitched together the remaining wounds in Hawkes hands. _He must have fend off some dagger attacks, these are deep. I must have a talk with him about engaging close combat._ He used what was left of his mana to restore some of the blood Hawke had lost, but he knew it was not enough. He could not do anything more right now. Anders used all of the blankets to cover Hawke, it was vital to keep him warm. Everything he could do to help his body recover was crucial. He got his chair and sat down beside him. Watched his chest raising and sinking slowly. He felt like the world was closing in, tears stream silent without he noticing them.


	6. Chapter 6

When Aveline came back the following day and she had Isabella with her. They had food with them and Isabela had some herbs Merrill gave her for Hawke. Anders meet them out in the clinic, not wanting to disturb Hawke even if it would have been a welcome sight to see him open his eyes again. He thanked them for the food and started eating immediately. He had not even realize how hungry he was. 

“How is he?” Isabela sat down on the table.

“Well, he is breathing, but he is pale and he have not woken up yet.” Anders ate greedy of the crops and vegetables. He tried to spare the meat to make something for Hawke if he woke up. When, he reminded himself. Hawke needed it more than him. Aveline reported that they tried to locate the Carta and Varric would dig around up some information too. She could not stay long, since she needed to rearrange the watch scheme. Anders gave Isabela a displeased look after Aveline left. She did not move a bit.

“I am eating of this table, so please use a chair like normal people.” 

“Maker, you are eating like a horse! How come you are so thin?” exclaimed Isabela trying to ease the atmosphere and poked him in the side. He cleared his throat and hit her hand with a carrot.

“Well I worked all night so excuse me if I have not had time to eat yet.”

“I work all night too.”

“I bet those you “work” with buys you food if you asks them.” Isabela played hurt and insulted and sat down hard o the chair and planted her boots on the table instead. 

“Hey I buy food for myself with my own money.”

“Money you steal from those poor bastards that pass out from drinking before you.” They laughed. He felt relaxed around Isabela, even if they did not have much in common. She reminded him of a happier time, before Justice and the wardens.

“Any great “work” lately?” 

“Well I robbed a man trying to convince me he was the warden-commander.” Anders choke on the water he was drinking and started cough.

“Relax Sparkle, he was a fraud. I have meet the warden-commander...in private.” A big, naughty smile spread over Isabelas face.

“Ohhh come on, did you screw Noah? I don't think so, Alistair would have killed you.”

“Who said he was left out?”

“I don't believe you. I lived with this man for about three months and not even I could get inside that robe.”

“Wasn't he an Amell?” Anders blushed. 

“Don't you think it is funny that you made a pass on Hawkes cousin and got rejected and now you reject Hawke?” Anders stopped eating. 

“What I did before all this has nothing to do with my relationship with Hawke.” Agitated Anders cleaned the table and stowed away the food in the inner room.

“Well I know when I am not welcome anymore. It was good talking to you and take care of Hawke now.” Isabela winked and left.

“Thank Merrill for the herbs, they are rare and hard to get your hands on.”


	7. Chapter 7

Anders dappled and cleaned Hawkes face. After the sleep and the food, he had enough mana to heal the wounds in Hawkes hands. His chest moved gentle and slowly the color were coming back to his checks. He cupped the bearded face with his hands and leaned over against his forehead. Just the feeling of been near him, made he warm inside. Isabela was right, he had tried to hit on the warden-commander and even if they reminded of each other, Hawke was the one he loved. He cried again, why would the tears never stop? It was so unfair, couldn't they have meet before all this. _I were with Carl at then._ There had never been a good time. He felt so stupid, rejecting Hawke when he was most lonely. 

“But I only did it to protect you.” _See how that worked? No it was not my fault, I was not there. And that was the problem._

“I am sorry.” The tears rolled down his cheek and dripped down to Hawkes face. Something heavy weighted down his head, pressing him closer to Hawkes face. He opened his eyes and saw a smile greeting him. 

“Thank the maker.”

“No. Thank. You.”Hawke needed to breath between every word and it exhaust him. His hot breath stroke Anders face and he smiled back. After some time Hawkes breathing calmed down and Anders loosen his grip around his face. Hawkes hand continued to push him downward and he laid it down gentle on his chest. He suddenly felt so tired, like he had not slept anything last night, even if he knew he did. He collapsed into the chair he had placed beside the bed. 

Varric came by later that evening with some more food. He was suspicious when Anders did not met him in the clinic when he called. He left the bag at the entrance and closed the door behind him while he readied Bianca. The clinic lied dormant, but he could not see any evidence of disturbance. _But you never know, don't you? Maker, I hope the templars have not found Anders or Hawke. If they had, it would not end well._ He sneaked to the doorway to the inner room and listened. Nothing. He peaked in and saw nothing for the darkness. What he saw when his eyes grew accustom to the darkness, made him smile. Blondie was sitting in a chair beside Hawkes bed, but he half sitting, half lied down on the bed with one of Hawkes hands in a tight grip. He heard them breathing calmly. Relieved he saddle back Bianca and walked back to get his bag. He dropped it beside the bed and picked up one of the blankets. He covered up Anders body gentle and careful to not wake him up. This must have taken a great deal, both physical and psychological for the poor mage. Varric went over to the desk and lightened up some candles. He threw together a short letter and left it by the bag before blowing out the the lights and leaving. He threw one last look and smiled. _Stupid mages , I will eat up my coin purse if you don´t get together after this._


	8. Chapter 8

The following days consisted pretty much of sleep, eat and talk. Hawke could see the others during short times before he became tired and Anders seem to not mind driving Isabela away since she insisted to sit very close to him to agitate Anders. Anders sat beside him all the time, except when he was out buying food or taking care of patients outside of the clinic. Hawke took guilty pleasure in letting Anders feed him, since he could not even get out of the bed by himself. He teased him over it, but they progressed slowly. The first time he tried, he ended up on his face on the dirty flood. He was able to stand and walk by himself within a couple of days.  
Two nights after he woke up Hawke noticed that Anders did not sleep in a bed, he slept in the chair beside him. It had never occurred to him that he was sleeping in Anders bed before this realization. He watched him sleep beside him and he leaned forward. The muscles in his abdomen made a weak protested, but he could live with it.

“Hey Anders?” He touched the mage's face. Anders flew up, gripping Hawkes wrist and the blue light rose under his skin and emerged in his eyes like flames.

“Wow Anders, it's alright, it's me.” He breathe heavily and it took him some time before realizing where he was. The light slowly retreated as Justice loosen his grip of Anders body and Hawke was relieved to see the brown eyes again. Anders panicked and released Hawkes wrist.

“Hawke I'm-”

“It's alright, it was my fault.” Anders walked around in circles.

“No I should not have-”

“Anders! Look at me, nothing happened.” He stopped and looked over at him. Hawke patted on the bed beside him. Slowly and reluctant Anders walked over and sat down.

“It's alright. I was going to ask you if you wanted to share bed with me.” Anders gave him a nervous look and Hawke realize his mistake.

“No, not like that. I mean I am taking up your whole bed and you sleep in your chair, so I thought it would be fair if you could sleep in it to. It is a big bed so we will have a lot off space.” He tried to laught it away, but all he wanted was to bang his head into the wall.

“I must admit that my back would appreciate a good nights sleep...” Hawke wrapped his arms around Anders and tipped over.

“Take it easy, your wounds is still fresh, don't undo all my work!”

“Stop talking for a second. I am tired so sleep.” 

“But-”

“No.”


	9. Chapter 9

Hawke was able to walk by himself afters some days and Aveline helped him home. Orana greeted him at the door with a hug. She looked at ease to see him alive and walking. 

“Sir, I am so happy to see you!”

“It's good to be home.” His big and bouncy mabari knocked him over when he entered the door. It hurt like hell in his abdomen. 

“Ohh I am sorry sir-”

“ It's alright. Orana, please. Stop call me sir. And you.” He turned to his wardog.

“I have missed you so much!” He hugged the mabari and the dog poured kisses over him.

 

The fire is mesmerizing, so beautiful, yet you could never come near it. He watched the flames devour the logs in the fireplace. Hawke sat down in the middle of the room with the mabari curled up in his lap. He loved how cuddly and affectionate his beloved dog was. He massage the dogs ears, hitting just the spot he knew the mabari loved. Hawke was warm, comfortable and alive, but not happy.  
“I miss him.” The mabari lifted his head and look at his master. Hawke starred into the flames, he was tired but could not relax. He notice how his mabari looked up at him.

“Not you stupid, you know the other mage that feeds you from time to time.” A tailed wagged fiercely.

“Yeah, I would also react like that if I had a tail.” He smiled for himself. I am a fool, a hopeless, romantic fool. He don't have time for me, it must have caused him much trouble to take care of me. He did not show any emotions when I left. It hurt, but he was foolish to think the time he spent there would have made a different. He felt so lonely, but maybe it was for the best. It knocked on the door and Orana came in.

“I am going to bed, sir. Is there anything you need?” Hawke looked at her with a questionable look. She blushed.

“Sorry, Sir.”

“You are never going to change are you?” Orana smiled.

“I will change when I feel comfortable with it.” She went over to his bed, took the blanket and put it around his shoulders.

“Thank you Orana, I don't need anything right now.” She stayed close.

“Why are you so sad sir?”

“There is just so much right now.”

“There is someone you like?”

“Am I that easy to read?”

“Sir, you have not left your room since you got home and I have never seen you smile since your mother left us. Who ever this person is, I hope you will hold on to him or her.” Orana smiled and left the room. Hawke looked after her as she closed the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Hawke bent over, triying to catch his breath. It was a long way to go, even if he used the secret passage leading directly to Dark Town. He rested a hand on the door. The door. On the other side was the man he loved, unaware of the inner struggle Hawke been trough that night. _Unaware? Maybe I am just selfish, but I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to lose anyone because of my failures._ He straighten up, opened the door. The clinic laid silent. _You still have time to back out._ He walked over to the inner room. He saw Anders, half sitting, half lying by his desk with some candles lighten. _Am I sure I want to do this?_ With some quick steps he was right behind Anders, wrapping his arms around him. He could smell the dirt mixed with leather and with a hint of electricity, just like he remembered it. He could feel how the other mage's body tighten up in his arms.

“Hawke?” Anders said surprised. Hawke stayed silence, trying to not ruin this moment. 

“What are you doing-”

“I missed you.” He buried his face in the blond hair. _Please don't reject me._ Anders stood up, turned around and pushed him away.

“I have tried to hold back.”

“Don't.”

“You saw what I almost did, Maker I almost killed you not so long ago. You have seen what I am.” Hawke took the mans hands. Anders continued, trying to stand his ground.

“You can't tease me like this and expect me to resist forever.” Hawke moved closer, hugged him and whispered:

“You are so dramatic.”

“Why can't you take me seriously!” Anders pushed him away.

“I don't want you to hold back. I don't want you to resist. I want you to be honest.” _I am selfish. But for once, is it so bad?_

“I love you.” The words slips through his lips so easy, yet they wore such heavy meaning. Anders, silenced by the words, looked him in the eyes. Hawke was a couple of centimeter taller than him, yet the mage threw himself around his neck, kissing him hungrily. Desperate. Passionately. Everything happened so quickly and Hawke stumbled backwards until he felt a wall against his back. He grabbed the mage and kissed him back. Hot breathes and exploring hands. He pulled of his gloves and unbuckled the robe, while Anders removed his chestplate and pulled up his shirt. Hawke found the subtle muscles and a quick thought of how thin Anders actually was crossed his mind. He cursed the reduced sensitivity in his hands, but he could feel the warmth of Anders skin. Hawke jumped a little when Anders touched the place in his abdomen where the arrow had been. Even if Anders had healed the wound, a bruise had surfaced after all the interference.

“Sorry.”Anders mumbled as he nibbled at his throat. The tongue played over the muscles and down to the collarbone and Hawke moaned. The sensation of being touched was overwhelming. He had missed it so bad, the contact of skin against skin. He needed this, even if his was almost nauseous of nervousness. He grab hold of the other mage's shoulders and pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. Greedy he found Anders lips again while his fingers found their way down to the mage's pants. He stretched the muscles in his hand to loosen up and gently yet shameless massaged the growing cock through the fabric. Anders panted, Hawke could almost hear the pent up desire in his voice. He let his other hand swipe trough the the other mans hair, loosen the always untidy ponytail. He smiled when his hand worked its way in under the lining of the trousers. Anders skin were soft and warm. He enclosed his hand around the cock and stoked it gently. Back and forth, back and forth.

“Nathan...”

“I love it when you say my name.” Hawke whispered into his ear and increased the speed. He saw how the other mages body stiffen up and tremble. Hawke sucked and nibbled Anders neck and he could feel the hot breath brush the side of his face. He felt how Anders wrapped his fingers in his brown, curly hair when he came. Hawke loved everything about this man, his voice, his eyes, his smile and he never wanted to let go of him. Anders collapsed down on the bed again and Hawke kissed him. They lied like that for some time. Hawke unbuckled his pants and stroke himself while continuing to kiss the other mage. His hand was still sticky with Anders cum, but it only made it more pleasurable. He felt Anders hands on his chest and he got pushed over on his back. Hawke sat up.  
“What the-.” Anders crawled up and sat on his lap.  
“Do you really think I am that selfish?” The mage rested his hand on his lovers chest and Hawke knew his heart was pounding. Hard. Anders leaned forward and kissed him on the lips and then continued to kiss his way down the neck, over his chest down to his stomach. Anders moved himself lower and Hawke felt those delicate fingertips, the same fingertips he fantasize about, wrap around his cock and start moving. It felt so good, he could almost not believe it. He suddenly notice Anders brown eyes, studying him for every movement. Hawke blushed in surprise, embarrassed of how good it felt. He hid his face in one of his hands. 

“Maker, Anders!” He heard the other mage giggle and a hot breath stroke down his cock. Before the thought hit him, Anders had taken him in his mouth. Hawke tilted his head backwards and let out a his voice everytime he breathed. He knew he could not last for much longer, he had been craving this for so long. Anders pulled him out of his mouth when Hawke came and let his hand make the last effort. Anders lips found his and they fell down on the bed together in a hot mess. They lied there, just breathing and sharing body heat. Hawke felt sleepy for the first time in weeks.

“I love you.” He smiled and closed his eyes

“You are gonna regret it.” Anders crawled closer, afraid his words would wake him up, alone in his bed. Hawke turned over and lied his arms around the man, reassuring he would not leave. The smell, he loved it so much, almost arousing. He snuggled the blond hair. _He have not said anything yet. Maybe I have pushed far enough for today._

“Hey Anders?” Hawke got no answer and found the mage fully asleep. He smiled, kissed the mans forehead and whispered:

“I am so happy.”


End file.
